I read her Eliot, I read her Yates
I tried my best to stay up late
I fixed the hinges on her gate
But still she just never wanted to

I bought her a dozen snow white doves
I did her dishes in rubber gloves
I called her Honeybee, I called her love
But she just still didn't want to
She just never wants to
DAMN!

I sent her every type of flower
I played her a guitar by the hour
I petted her revolting little Chihuahua
But still she just didn't want to

I wrote a song with a hundred lines
I picked a bunch of dandelions
I walked her through the trembling pines
But she just even then didn't want to
She just never wants to

I thought I'd try another tact
I drank a litre of Cognac
I threw her down upon her back
But she just laughed and said she just didn't want to

I thought I'd have another go
I called her my little ho
I felt like Marcel Marceau must feel
But she said she just never wanted to
She just didn't want to